i can't believe i had my finger in that
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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