we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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