morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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