Pants 0. Shit 1.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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