Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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