Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize