I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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