I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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