I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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