Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
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Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
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He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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