i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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