Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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