Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize