quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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