She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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