Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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