The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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