I just made out with a guy for $7.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
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I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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