i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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