okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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