Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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