The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
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Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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