I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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