I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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