a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize