Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
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I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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