Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize