I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize