evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
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Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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