OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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