she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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