Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
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I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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