my phone needs a breathalizer
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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