So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
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Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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