Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
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I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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