Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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