don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
babies were throwing up all over the place
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
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oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
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My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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