I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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