Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i need some magic done to my vagina
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize