people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
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You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
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My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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