Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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