Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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