its not stalking. its research.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize