alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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