I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
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Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
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He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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