Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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