ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize