good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize