I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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