She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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